A letter of healing To my Ancestors

When writing letters can be an example of ancestral healing rituals.

Typewriter

Healing from trauma can be a hard, but not an impossible process. It involves discovery, learning, trying new skills and new ways of thinking and being. It also includes a mix of emotions such as shock, disbelief, grief, anger, disappointment, sadness, denial, acceptance, determination and hope. Learning about trauma, what created trauma in your life, traumatic responses and how trauma affects your functioning is part of the process in starting to heal. When learning about trauma, you may also learn about how your ancestors had traumas too. Intergenerational trauma is about how family and your ancestors suffered and how they passed on that suffering to you. This post is about helping yourself heal and about sending some healing energy to your ancestors too.

This process is inspired by Mariel Buque, author of Breaking the Cycle : Healing from Intergenerational Trauma.. In her book, she includes a practice that is meant to acknowledge your trauma and the trauma of your ancestors while sending yourself and them healing energy.

This a letter to my self and my ancestors. I hope you use it as a guide to try your own letter writing, so that you may begin your process of healing as well.

Dear Ancestors,

I am now learning of the actual traumas and possible traumas that you have experienced. I am learning about how society, your community, your religion, systems in place and how even your own family may have caused you suffering.

You experienced unhealthy attitudes, unhelpful beliefs, dysfunctional ways of being and coping with stress and witnessed or experienced traumatic events. Negative, toxic, unhealthy, unbalanced or even abusive ways of behaving and feeling were modeled to you. Secrets were encouraged, people were silenced or ignored and people were protected or given a free pass to act the way that they do.

“ What will people think?”.

“ We don’t air our dirty laundry.”

“We shouldn’t talk about that.”

“That is the way the world is.”

“We lived through worse and we’re ok.”

“Get over it.”

You may have seen it as normal or just a part of everyday life, but it is something that actually hurt you and the people in your life.

It is something that was passed down through your genes and even your actual cells had memory of it. It is something that left an impact on your heart, mind and soul and it affected the way you think, feel and behave. Others also may have suffered in your presence because you were unhealed.

If you ever felt that you were hurt or that something was off… If you felt sad, angry, frustrated or just knew that something wasn’t right- I send you healing energy.

If you were someone that hurt others because you were hurt- I send you healing energy.

I also do not excuse what happened, but acknowledge the truth so that no more secrets need to be kept and healing can begin.

I send you, my ancestors, well wishes and release and let go of suffering on your behalf, so that the trauma doesn’t have to keep being passed down.

I also release and let go of my own trauma, pain and moments of suffering because I want to heal.

I send myself healing wishes and accept healing energies.

I do the work and commit to healing because I want better for myself and the future of this family.

I learn about trauma and practice patience because healing may take time.

I give myself compassion, support and I try to have my own back no matter what- because that is a part of healing.

I am open to healing and I release and let go of any negative thing that may have attached itself to me or my family across time, space or dimension.

And I promise to do something good for myself everyday for my overall wellbeing- because I deserve peace, happiness, health and love.

Love,

Me.

Thanks for reading the above letter. This is just an example of what a letter to your ancestors could look like.

What I encourage you to try, if you want to try it is to grab a blank paper or take out your trusty journal and sit in a quiet place to do this.

Do not start this letter if you are already upset or feeling down, but begin this letter knowing that you are going to be doing some meaningful reflection on what could be difficult things . Give yourself enough time and skills to take care of yourself afterwards.

Know that when you are done with said letter, you may feel a little tired or drained, but nothing is wrong and that is ok and valid to have and processed these feelings. Take this as a cue to take extra care of yourself.

When you write your letter you may include:

Examples of traumas you are aware about in your family history.

Examples of cultural or family beliefs or behaviors that may have caused suffering.

Examples of systems in place that contributed to suffering.

Acknowledgement of how this impacted most people in your family, your community and eventually you.

Your desire to heal and move forward.

Your desire to send healing to anyone who may have been a victim of suffering.

The release and letting go of any suffering you may have encountered.

An agreement or commitment to go on about your own healing.

After you are done with this letter, you may keep it, or simply rip up this paper with the intention of healing and letting go of anything negative in the past.

To conclude this blog post, intergenerational healing work can be a part of anyone’s self improvement work. While sometimes difficult to look at, it is often necessary to move in the direction that you want- so that negative patterns die. This practice is just one thing that you can try towards learning how to heal from intergenerational trauma.

It is not the only thing you can try, but it is a lovely start. If you wish to try this out, you may. But if you think that you may need more support around this work, definitely work with a trusted friend or professional. It is important work, so that you can increase your chances of over all health and well being.

Sending you healing vibes,