How to start building confidence in 5 days or less… Part one…

Confidence. We all want it, and we all think that our lives can change overnight with it, but in reality it seems like many of us are missing the mark when it comes to feeling confident. Many of us are not really sure what it truly is. So if we are not really sure what it truly is, then no wonder so many people think they will never be confident!

Today I am here to help you find out what confidence really is and how to start feeling more confident in 5 days or less. Doesn’t that sound fun?

Ready to build Solid Confidence? Let’s go!

Here are your daily, step by step actionable practices to build some magical and solid confidence in your life.

Things that you will need:

A favorite pen

A favorite notebook ( even something from Dollar Tree is good)

A white candle (tea lights or even artificial candles are ok- just remember safety first and never work with candles without appropriate supervision or pre cautions)

A power object ( rose quartz ,perhaps?, a ring, a necklace, a picture, lipstick, anything that will remind you about or give you feelings of power)

A clean, empty jar

A positive attitude

Day One: Confidence and Breaking Old Spells

First, let’s start with what confidence is not.

Confidence is not about always feeling good about yourself and never feeling bad about anything.

It is not feeling superior to others or feeling better than others.

It is not being charismatic 100% of the time.

It is not being able to say whatever you want and getting whatever you want.

It is not about looking a certain way.

It is not about getting away with things.

So what is confidence?

Confidence is having a good understanding of who you are, accepting who you are (warts and all), deciding to have your own back and supporting yourself no matter what comes your way in life. Confidence is knowing that you can take care of yourself , feeling good knowing that you are making that promise to yourself and that you are trying to do good every day. Confidence is not a personality trait, it is not a special gift- it is a skill. And skills can be built upon and learned ! So that means that confidence is accessible to everyone! It is not some elusive secret that only a few select people know. It is not something that people are born with. It is something that you can learn and build.

There is nothing wrong with you. You are not “forgotten.” You are not “damaged.” You are not “broken.” You are not “hopeless.” You are not to be “fixed.”

You are you and you can be confident in this wonderful you.

Confidence is also about being consistent in your thoughts, feelings and actions so that you can propel yourself into being able to do more of the things that you want to do.

So let’s take a look at this first practice for Day 1. Take out your pen and notebook friends !

Answer this question first.

Q: What old spells might I be under that are preventing me from supporting myself and having my own back? Spells? These are words, beliefs, stories, narratives, things that you have heard and might have spinning around in your mind, keeping you from feeling like you can support yourself or be confident. You may have possibly been under a spell that does not serve you!

We are going to break the spells by first knowing what they are.

An example of a spell might be: “My mom always told me that I wasn’t pretty enough to get the life I want.” Or “ I am not intelligent enough, strong enough or creative enough to do the things I want.”

Go to your notebook and write down the spells that you may have been under.

Now when you are done writing these down.Think of the impact these spells have had on your life. What have these spells done for you or have not done for you? Has your life gotten better because of these spells? Now let’s work on breaking the spells.

I want you to set up a candle ( or a fake candle is ok) and start crossing out each the spells ( unhelpful beliefs) one by one while you say “ I release and let go of this negativity” or just “ I release and let go of this.” As you say this, you visualize all of the negative thoughts, beliefs and narratives melting away, breaking away, fading away, or just disappearing.

You are letting go and breaking the old spells that didn’t help you in life. When you are finished crossing out the beliefs. Tear up the sheet of paper, flush it down the toilet or burn them in a fireproof bowl or container. And again say “ I release and let go of this.”

Now, let’s create a new spell. A spell for welcoming the process of creating confidence.

Taking a new sheet of paper. You are going to create a contract with yourself. Get a new little candle ready or a fake candle ready. Set the intention of doing something amazing and good for yourself. And lovingly write down:

“ I allow myself to heal so that I can accept confidence in my life and do the things I need to do to take care of myself and have my own back.”

Visualize a bright light coming from your heart and enveloping you in a bubble of bright light( this includes some light one your sheet of paper too) . Invite the process of building confidence. When you are done, fold the paper towards you 3x and keep it with you as you go about your day. Notice the positive feelings that you have and carry paper with you so you can look at it anytime to remind yourself of the contract you have made with yourself.

You are done with Day 1.

Day 2: Taking Off the Veil and Finding Your Confident You

This next part is going to be really fun. Grabbing your notebook and pen. Also grab your power object. We are going to work towards taking off the veil that has been clouding you from seeing the current version of you and the future most confident version of you. We are taking off the blindfold people! We are opening up our eyes and life to possibility!

Our first practice for the day. I want you to write down some things that you admire about yourself or feel positively about yourself.

Are you silly, are you caring, do you make people laugh?

Do you care for animals, volunteer, or are good with children?

Are you great at math, can you draw really well, can you tell a really good story?

Are you a good friend, daughter, employee or neighbor?

Do you make an effort? Did you go to school? Do you have a job? Did you overcome a hard situation?

These are just some of the positive things that you might have about you and totally forgot about. Write them down and give yourself a little appreciation! Say out loud “ I am learning to appreciate these things about myself”.

The next practice is you visualizing and creating the most Confident You. This is the version of you that is perfectly you (warts and all) , but this you does things a little different. Now I want you to think about how an Empress or Queen acts. Since I enjoy Tarot, I like to think about The Empress card or the Queen of Pentacles card. I love these cards.. These cards depict a woman in beautiful robes, sitting on a beautiful throne with signs of abundance all around her. A field of wheat, a beautiful garden, sweet animals, etc.. These Queens look happy, look healthy, look strong, look fulfilled, look confident. They look like they takes care of themselves and they look like they make decisions everyday that are the best for them.

This is not about having servants or money, but this is about how they know they are worthy, how they know they are awesome and how they act like they WANT to take care of themselves and WANT the best for themselves more than not. They make the decisions and do the things they need to do because they WANT TO LOVE ON THEMSELVES.

Now I want you to take a cue from a Queen or any woman that you admire, like Rihanna, Michelle Obama, Shakira, whoever!

And think about what they would do to show they want to support themselves. What do these women do?

Do they speak strongly? Sit up proudly? Are they gentle? Helpful? Do they advocate for themselves and for others? Do they enjoy the little things? Do they ask for help when they need it? Or do they take charge sometimes? Do they wear their favorite colors? Do they wear perfume? Are they good friends, moms, sisters, daughters? What do they do and what attitude do they take on?

Now think about how you can start doing that for you.

Now, I want you to write all of these things down. Visualize yourself doing these things and visualize how your life might be different when you start doing these things. As you visualize, I want you to feel all the good feelings. Really feel all the good feelings. Do you feel steady, secure, strong, happy, rested, sure, at peace, lovely, confident? Whatever!

Now take out your power object and I want you to visualize sending all those wonderful things, images and feelings to the power object. Send that positive energy into your power object and visualize it glowing with love and confidence. Watch it glow and send it love. When you are done, thank your power object for supporting you because you are going to keep/ carry this around anytime you need to remind yourself what you wish to do from this Confident Energy.

This power object and your letter from day one are your reminders of who you are becoming.

Take the seriously and you will watch yourself change!

Day 3:Self Love and the Magic Words (A Lesson on Language and Self Compassion)

When it comes to building your self confidence, language makes so much more of a difference!

How you speak to yourself can determine how you feel, think, and do in this world, so it is important that you start being mindful of the way that you speak to yourself. Words can be magical. And just like you worked on day one to break old spells. You want to start creating NEW spells!

As mentioned in lesson one/day one , you may have been under some serious harmful and unhelpful spells for a lot of your life. These spells likely made you feel like poo and they definitely didn’t have you feeling like a million bucks.

It is likely that you repeated these spells to yourself and you likely spoke to yourself with less than kind, gentle or uplifting words. Let me be the first to tell you (if know one has told you this yet)- THAT SHIT DOESN’T WORK!

Being terrible to yourself and hard on yourself will NOT make you a confident woman. And it will not get you close to doing the things that you want to do.

What will make you a confident woman is speaking the magic words to yourself. The magic words are not complicated, but easy once you get to know them.

The magic words are speaking to yourself with love and self compassion. And using your magic words to start creating new magical stories! You can break the spells of the past and you can create new ways of being, feeling and thinking about the world- it’s magic and science! According to theory of Neuro-plasticity, your brain is maleable like plastic and can create new neural connections, new patterns, new ways of thinking, feeling and being in the world. So those old ways of thinking and being are not set in stone my friend.

So how do we begin the work of using new magic words?

Take out your notebook! Have your candle nearby and put your power object on or in a place you can be near it. Find that jar I mentioned earlier in the blog too.

In your notebook, I want you to start thinking and writing about the way you would speak to a loved one, a best friend, a loved pet or a child you care about. What loving phrases would they like to hear when they are struggling, when they want encouragement or when they want support? What would you have liked to have heard when you were a child and were also have a tough time in life. And imagine what tone of voice you might use( clue: a soft, gentle, hopeful, cheerful voice maybe?). Now write down some of these phrases on strips of paper and add them to your jar.

You might write down phrases like:

“You look great today!”

“ You have a great smile”

“You can do it”

“You are so amazing.”

“You have done so many harder things. You can definitely do this too.”

“You are a good person.”

“You have many wonderful qualities that I love and appreciate.”

“You are deserving of a beautiful life.”

“You arms are so strong!”

“Your hair is so shiny and healthy!”

Add as many as you might like for today and begin the habit of writing at least one more phrase daily on strips of paper to add to your jar. When you are feeling like you want some inspiration, take one of those strips of paper and read it to yourself in a gentle and loving voice.

But also make a habit of speaking to yourself with loving, supportive kindness. WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE! Even when you have had a bad day or made a mistake. USE LOVING, SUPPORTIVE AND GENTLE LANGUAGE! It is during these moments where you are the most deserving of love and compassion. Think of the Queen and Empress- what would they do if they wanted to support themselves during a hard time ? They certainly would not berate themselves or talk negatively to themselves. They would remember they are Queens and give themselves some LOVE. The more you do this, the more you change your brain and self concept. The confidence is going to burst the more you do this .

Optional: You may choose to add dried rose petals to this jar. Roses are a symbol of love and we just want to invite love to ourselves any chance we get!

To conclude, these are the first three days of How to Build your Self Confidence in 5 days or less. I didn’t want to overwhelm you with this blog post with all 5 days, so I kept it a little short, but wanted to give you a solid start to your journey.

If you would like Part 2, Don’t forget to stay tuned.It is on it’s way! Leave a positive comment or share this blog post with your friend. You have nothing to lose, except some bad habits.

Sending you some love and magic !